Warning: adult content enclosed.
Lately, I have been reading the sensuous blog of Kim Anami, who is currently traveling the world lifting things with her vagina. A strong vagina is equally as important as strong arms, legs, biceps and abs. Seriously.
If you are feeling disconnected, ashamed or embarrassed to talk about your vagina, you are not alone. You have been conditioned to be secretive about your vagina, your breasts, your menstrual cycle and most likely, about losing your virginity too. This has shaped your sexual identity and possibly created shame and guilt around things that are precious and sacred… and yours! Through no fault of your own, you then carry those negative feelings into the relationship you have with your body, mind and spirit and into every romantic relationship you encounter.
This post is going to unleash your vaginal power to get you inspired and motivated to connect with your vagina in order to live the life you want for yourself, in between the sheets and in everyday life.
So take a deep breath and let’s get started!
I recall as a young girl watching Madonna videos and my father being embarrassed about a woman grabbing her genitals on stage and yet when Michael Jackson did it, there was no “talk” about it. Sexual shaming at its finest, ingrained in my own mind just as I was reaching an awareness of my own body and sexuality.
You are very busy with life, building a career, being a supermom, looking good, working out and so much more! You owe it to yourself to connect with your vagina so you can feel empowered and know that you exist in this world WITH your vagina. Possibly, you have forgotten that you are a sexual being and of your own sexual desirability because of the frustrations, embarrassment, trauma and maybe even pain that you and your vagina have experienced.
Touch your vagina, look at your vagina and even spoil your vagina with new panties. Increasing your awareness of your vagina will connect you with your body and your unique beauty. Every part of you deserves to be admired and not forgotten! Once you recognize this beauty and love for your vagina, you will be able to extend that to all of YOU. You can celebrate every part of who you are, opening up your life to receive happiness.
2. Trust Your Vagina: You have heard that “gut” feeling that experts tell us to follow when walking through a dark parking lot after a late night of drinks with friends. Kim Anami talks about your vagina being your compass in life. I love this concept for a few reasons, but mainly because you and I share an intuition that men don’t have, whether it is from the vagina or not, I don’t know. Either way, you know if a lover is cheating, you know when your children are sick or a loved one is in trouble, without even picking up the phone. The degree to which you listen to your intuition is based on how much trust you have in yourself. Building self-trust is one of the most challenging obstacles in life.
In my book, Raw Rookie Roadmap I highlight the importance of building self-trust when it comes to making a change in your diet and lifestyle. The same is true in getting to know your vagina and your power as a woman. Your vagina will be your guidepost in almost all situations in life: a new job, new relationship, existing marriage and life’s other challenges, just as your intuition is there to guide you but you have to do the work to pay attention. Learning to trust your vagina will build your confidence and self-esteem so you can become consistent with how you live your life. You will notice consistency in how you make decisions, the food you eat, your parenting, your choice in romantic partners and overall increase the happiness you feel each day. This trust will lead to love and acceptance of yourself, thereby giving you the freedom to do so with others.
3. Experience Your Vagina the Way Your Lover Does: Self-love, self-exploration, mutual masturbation, mirror play, touching, massage, dancing or whatever you are drawn to do – just do it! Do something that is new to you and makes you feel a tad bit uncomfortable, but within your own sexual boundaries if you are experimenting with a partner. You can explore on your own, or with a trusted sexual partner that you have open, honest communication with. Once you can open up emotionally to engage with your own vagina, you will open yourself up to more self-exploration and emotional awareness that will improve your life, happiness and relationships with others.
Experience your vagina the way your lover does, it will bring a new appreciation to your body, mind and soul.
4. Have Sex and Vaginal Orgasms: Consensual sex can connect you with yourself as much as it can connect you with your partner. Your experience and approach in life is directly reflected to what is happening between the sheets and in your vagina. Whether you have had sex or not, use the time between the sheets to connect with your own body as much as it is time to connect with your lover.
Remain open, loving and accepting of your body and this will increase your own libido and turn your lover on! It will turn on your life experience as well. Chances are, if you are feeling stuck in life, your vagina and your sex life are also stuck. Maybe you have a hard time reaching orgasm; maybe your vagina isn’t producing lubrication; maybe your sex drive is a lot lower; but don’t give up! Use these tips to continue to grow and connect with yourself through your vagina.
There are so many other benefits to having sex and reaching vaginal orgasm that it will be hard for you and others around you to notice that you have that extra bounce in your step. You will lead a life of excitement, acceptance, trust, connection and love; and it all starts with connecting with your vagina through sexual pleasure.
5. Your Vagina is Enough: From the moment you lost your virginity, you have been exposed to messages from lovers that you may not be enough. Whether you have received messages of being a slut, prude, hard-to-get, a tease or another select term that has been used to shame women – it has been ingrained in your brain that you are not enough.
Now is the time to break down those walls and tell your vagina that she is enough.
She is hairy enough, bare enough, skinny enough, big enough, small enough, tight enough, tasty enough and beautiful enough. The only person that is going to heal your vagina is YOU. The relationship you build with your vagina is a reflection of how you will continue to love, accept and nurture yourself as you encounter further life experiences with people who want you to believe you are not enough. A man does not cheat because your vagina is not enough and yet you take it on as your own fault of his infidelity. You continue to move through life to prove to yourself and others that you are enough. But you ARE enough and once you and your vagina realize this, you will shine and live an empowered life.
It all comes down to strengthening your vagina and the relationship with your vagina to strengthen your identity as a woman. A strong, courageous, empowered woman like you is what this world needs. Starting in your own pants, or up your own skirt is liberating and empowering and will lead you to live the life you imagine for yourself.
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